It was the saddest day of my life by far. I have so much to say, yet I cannot say them out loud. I have so much tears of sadness to cry, but I only cried those few times that I cannot hold back. I have so much regrets, but there is no way for me to redeem them. My heart aches so much, but I have to conceal it.
When I last saw Piper on Friday evening at the vet's, I felt so sorry for the little girl who had to be on drip. She was breathing so heavily because of her heart condition. She refused food and water and due to that, she had a string of other complications of the liver and kidney.
She was weak but she managed a few meows. I stroked her and when I found a few private moments with her, I whispered to her that I love her, and I pleaded with her to eat. Her eyes looked far and blank. My heart ached to see her that way.
The next morning, God ended Piper's pains and sufferings. I hadn't expected it to be over so soon. I brought her home, cleaned her up and laid her to rest in our backyard with some pretty roses of different colours. Piper liked to be neat and clean, and she had always liked pretty things too.
Since her passing, I've been told to move on and let her go. It's not good for my sad energies to be felt at home, when there are others who still need my love and attention. Fully agreed on that. But I am only human. Piper was never just a cat or a pet to me. She was someone I loved so dearly. She meant so much to me.
The truth is, I want to let her go. It is only best for her that there are no sad emotions here to hold her back from where she is supposed to go. I know that by feeling so sad and wishing she is still here may make it hard for her to go. But why is it that no one understands that I cannot totally let her go in such a short time? I need to grieve to heal. I need to let my tears flow until they dry out. I need to come to terms with it and not just brush off the death and move on as if nothing has touched me.
I find comfort in believing that Piper is now happy and no longer in pain. She has been given a short life now because she is taking a better rebirth soon. Maybe, just maybe, we will meet again. Till then, my Piper will forever be in my heart. Piper, I love you so much....always and forever. I'm sure you know that.
When I last saw Piper on Friday evening at the vet's, I felt so sorry for the little girl who had to be on drip. She was breathing so heavily because of her heart condition. She refused food and water and due to that, she had a string of other complications of the liver and kidney.
She was weak but she managed a few meows. I stroked her and when I found a few private moments with her, I whispered to her that I love her, and I pleaded with her to eat. Her eyes looked far and blank. My heart ached to see her that way.
The next morning, God ended Piper's pains and sufferings. I hadn't expected it to be over so soon. I brought her home, cleaned her up and laid her to rest in our backyard with some pretty roses of different colours. Piper liked to be neat and clean, and she had always liked pretty things too.
Since her passing, I've been told to move on and let her go. It's not good for my sad energies to be felt at home, when there are others who still need my love and attention. Fully agreed on that. But I am only human. Piper was never just a cat or a pet to me. She was someone I loved so dearly. She meant so much to me.
The truth is, I want to let her go. It is only best for her that there are no sad emotions here to hold her back from where she is supposed to go. I know that by feeling so sad and wishing she is still here may make it hard for her to go. But why is it that no one understands that I cannot totally let her go in such a short time? I need to grieve to heal. I need to let my tears flow until they dry out. I need to come to terms with it and not just brush off the death and move on as if nothing has touched me.
I find comfort in believing that Piper is now happy and no longer in pain. She has been given a short life now because she is taking a better rebirth soon. Maybe, just maybe, we will meet again. Till then, my Piper will forever be in my heart. Piper, I love you so much....always and forever. I'm sure you know that.
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven
Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please
Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven
8 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about your cat. But Piper is in a better place.. and i'm sure she loved you as much as you do. Take care..!
girl... so sorry to hear abt Piper. you take care ya.
My deepest sympathy. I teared when I read your post. I can imagine the bond you had. Nevertheless, there's a time for everything, so take your time to mourn her passing. Take care.
I'm sorry about the passing of Piper. My thoughts are with you. Do take care and not to worry about what others have to say...u grieve and mourn the way you know how and best.
Being a cat lover myself, I cried reading your post. Rest assured Piper is up in heaven smiling down at you and the other kitties. Take care.
Sil, not that we don't understand. I understand. That's why i didn't want to ask you about it. I acted normal cos i do not want to remind you of the sadness. I cried when i read your post. Take ur time to overcome it. We know you need time, we are not rushing you..but be rest assured that Piper's no longer in pain now. We are always here for you alrite.. :)
Take care!
~ Sil ~
yeah . . . piper is in a better place. Take care and do keep in contact.
HOw old is ur lil boy now ?
dear friends,
thank you for your moral support and words of kindness. you have no idea how much your simple words mean to me at this time, and help me heal little by little. thank you...
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